For Better or For Worse

I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with food. When Brian and I started dating years ago, we were working 12-15 hour days , and getting home between 10 and 11 at night. Back then, I refused to eat dinner with him for fear of gaining even one pound.

“Are you sure?” he’d prod, “You have to be starving.”

I always answered that I’d had a late lunch, which was usually true. Even so, a 3 o’clock lunch does not leave a girl satisfied at 10 at night — especially after working fifteen hours…

It was when Brian and I moved in together that my fear of food morphed  into a passionate love affair. Brian’s an amazing home cook. He makes simple vegetables taste indulgent. He takes care and time with each aspect of a dish. Cooking is his art and his outlet.

Of course Brian’s one of those ridiculous specimen’s that couldn’t gain five pounds if his life depended on it. The first time I saw the oil and butter responsible for making a simple vegetable so enticing, I was horrified, but the lure of my new lover was strong, and my fear of fat quickly disappeared. I, unfortunately, am not one of those ridiculous specimen’s that has trouble gaining weight. After two years of living together, I’d gained 40 pounds! The following year I lost 50 pounds, and it’s been a roller coaster ever since.

Part of what I find difficult about eating well is how much providing or presenting a great meal to those he loves means to Brian. I am in no way blaming Brian for any weight gain. Food is simply an important part of our relationship. A lot of our time is spent cooking together. Brian finds joy in teaching and sharing. There’s laughter and love when we cook. I needed to find a way to end my unhealthy affair with food without losing the joy in food itself, as well as what it provides in my relationship.

The answer came from Brian: cook together, and make two versions of everything! He still has both his outlet, and his time to provide through food by teaching me, and brainstorming with me on how to, “health up,” the meal without losing flavor or satisfaction. I hate diety foods. I want rich, flavorful meals. But I also want the waistline I had after losing 50 pounds, and I believe we’ve created some damn good dishes!

This blog is for everyone out there who has the same feelings regarding food and health. We may all have different back stories, and reasons, but the desire is the same — we want taste, we want satisfaction, and we want health.

I’ll share recipes that have been, “healthed up,” but don’t taste like it, always, of course, giving credit if the recipe is inspired by a chef, cookbook, or online site. I can’t wait! I hope people love them as much as I do, and find as much joy and comfort in them as I have.